Not sure about a word used in Girl Sex 101? See if it’s here! Or suggest a new term by contacting us.

AFAB/AMABAssigned Female At Birth and Assigned Male at Birth, respectively. Often used to self-identify as trans or indicate the kinds of genitals/body a person was born with.


AG – Short for “aggressive.” A variant of butch and stud in describing a masculine identity. Almost exclusively used by Black queer women.

Asexual – A person who isn’t interested in sex. Many variations include Demi-sexual (rarely into sex, but sometimes), Sex-repulsed, Grey-A, and Aromantic.

Bicurious – A person who is curious or interested in sex with the same gender, but often has never experienced it.

BottomAs a verb, the act of receiving a sexual act. As a noun, an identity that indicates one prefers to always receive or be submissive during sex. (see Top)

Bottom surgery – Vaginoplasty or phalloplasty


Butch (adj. noun.)- A loose term for having “masculine” traits.

Byke (noun) – A neologism for a bisexual woman who identifies with dyke culture

CelibateA person who is not having sex, regardless of whether they want sex or not. Not to be confused with Asexual.

CheatingViolating the agreed upon rules within a relationship. It doesn’t have to involve sex, but it often does.

Compersion – A neologism that means “the opposite of jealousy.” E.g. “I’m feeling a lot of compersion that Sally is out with that hottie she met at the grocery store. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Cum/Come – To orgasm, or the fluid that often accompanies orgasm

Dil – Short for “dildo”

Drag – The practice of dressing in the clothing of another gender, often for entertainment or performance purposes.

Dyke (noun) – A reclaimed slur for lesbian.

Dyke DramaInterpersonal relationship problems within a community of queer women. Often stemming from break-ups or sex.

Factory-installedA Girl Sex 101 term for the genitals a person is born with. (see User-upgraded)

Femme (adj. noun.) – A loose term for having “feminine” traits.

Fisting – the sexual practice of inserting the entirety of one’s hand into a vagina or anus.


GoldstarA lesbian who has never had sex with a man. Falling out of favor because of its misogynistic, transphobic, and generally hierarchical nature.

Hand sex – Using one’s hands on a person’s genitals

Heteroflexible – A generally straight person who may have contextual

Heteropatriarchy – A cultural system that prizes straightness and masculinity over other kinds of people, things and expressions.

Non-binary – A person who identifies outside of the male/female or man/woman gender binary.

Non-monogamous – Any version of sleeping with, dating, or being in a relationship with more than one person at a time.

Non-op – A person who hasn’t has bottom surgery, whether they plan to or not. Generally considered an upgrade over the more common “Pre-op” which implies that every trans person should or wants to get surgery

Open – A less specific version of polyamory. Can mean any different kind of non-monogamous relationship arrangement including swinging, fuck-buddies,

Oral sexUsing one’s mouth to pleasure a person’s genitals.

Orchiectomy – Surgical removal of the testes. This can help reduce the amount of testosterone and androgen a person produces naturally.

PansexualA person who is attracted to people regardless of their gender or sex.

PatriarchyA cultural system that prizes men and masculinity over other kinds of people, things, and expressions. Often unconscious and deeply ingrained in society. E.g. The  belief that the man’s last name should always be taken by his wife and children.

Phallocentric – Centering ideas of sex on the penis, to the extent that other kinds of sex don’t “count.”

Phalloplasty – A surgical procedure to build a penis out of a person’s existing tissue. Often it is made out of skin from the thigh or torso. Can sometimes mean the surgical installation of a donor penis.

Pillow Queen/Princess – Someone who isn’t active in bed, but prefers to lay back and receive.

Poly – Usually short for polyamorous or polyamory, which is the practice of being in multiple romantic relationships at once. Poly is only the right term to use when it’s ethical and everyone is aware it’s happening. Otherwise it’s cheating.

Post-op – A person who has had bottom surgery. Usually reserved for trans women, because bottom surgery is still not very common for trans men.

Preorgasmic – A person who’s never had an orgasm.

Queer – An umbrella term for any non-hetero identity or act. Sometimes still considered a slur, though that’s rapidly changing.

Queef – Commonly known as a “pussy-fart” when air that is pushed into the vagina escapes with a farting noise.

Scissoring – A sex act where two people (usually both with vulvas, though not always) scissor their legs together and grind genitals. Can be done clothed or nude.

Slut Protocol – A set of best practices created by to help minimize hurt feelings while having sex with multiple people.

Squirt/Female EjaculateFluid expelled from the urethra by a person with a vulva during sex.

Stone – A person who doesn’t like receiving sexual touch of any kind.

Stud – A person on the masculine end of the scale in terms of identity. Can be stone. Often used by people of color.

Switch – A person who enjoys both bottoming and topping, depending on the context.

Top – As a verb, the act of performing a sexual act. As a noun, an identity that indicates one prefers to always perform or be dominant during sex. (see Bottom)

Top surgery – Surgical removal of the breasts. Sometimes can refer to breast implants.

Trans – A person who doesn’t identify with the gender assigned to them at birth.

Trans clit – A term some trans girls use for what is commonly known as the penis.

User-upgraded – A Girl Sex 101 term for the surgical realignment and/or enhancement of one’s genitals. (see Factory-installed)

Vaginoplasty A surgical procedure to build a vagina out of a person’s existing tissue. Usually it’s made out of the penis, but can sometime be made from a portion of the colon.

VibeShort for Vibrator

Virgin – a loose term for a person who has never had sex.